oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
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Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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