so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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