i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
