I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
