Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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