how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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