Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
