Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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