So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
