that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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