Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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