My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
