she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
