How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize