shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize