Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
