I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
