I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
