She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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