Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
