If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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