He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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