Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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