As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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