We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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