My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
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I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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