Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
