Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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