i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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