Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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