if i can run in heels then i can drive
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
