Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
