I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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