You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
