Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
