I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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