After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
