They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
