If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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