drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
