look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
