the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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