garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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