We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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