yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
