Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
