Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
