I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
