oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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