I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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