Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
