The maid of honor just puked.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
