i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
