i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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