I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
