He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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