you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize