You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
