You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
