So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
