her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
